I'm not sure.

Let's see where this goes. We're winging it.

There’s this song that played everywhere during my time in Manipal that I never enjoyed. Not because of the song itself but because it was overplayed. EVERYWHERE, not just the bars where you would expect the song to be played or even at cultural events or practice for cultural events, but also in corridors in between classes, occasionally while we were on our way to play something or warming up before playing. The song itself is unimportant to this story but humour me for a minute.

A weird thing happened.

I had an interaction with some folks at Roadhouse Bluez, Andheri. I met them randomly at the bar itself and we exchanged energy. Some I met that day for the first time and some I’ve met but only ever interacted with in passing at RHB. Our conversation tonight, went to Manipal where by absolute coincidence, the three of us each spent 4 years there studied with a year overlap and we were nostalgic and took that trip down memory lane.

That’s not the weird thing though.

While I was on my way back home, just living in the energy of that nostalgia of a time and a city and a version of me I really love, that annoying song played in the background of my mind. It was sharp. I immediately felt terrible and that I’ve spent so much time hating (Yes, hating) it so much, that I have now started subconsciously associating to Manipal. Manipal that I love so much, Manipal that I draw so much of my constitution from. The reason for that hate is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter that it was overplayed or fed to me in the most public or intimate of spaces. It matters that I allowed that hate to do this to me. To make that subconscious connection.

I realised, I have made a mistake and then I did the most beautiful of thing of accepting that mistake. Allowing myself the space and acknowledging I have the privilege or the means to learn from it. Doing so ensuring that I’m protecting something I love.

If there’s anything that I would like for you to take away from this, it’s this. That it’s ok to make mistakes and accept them and learn from them. Doesn’t matter the mistake or the size or shape or colour or how terrible it may make you feel. Have that journey with it because I’ve been doing this for a while now and it is it worth it. To accept all the parts of you that make them you. To acknowledge and respect it and allow it its lime light in your psyche.

I can’t credit this growth in me to just me. Don’t get me wrong. It is 90% me for better or worse, but the remaining 10% is an assortment of people and perspective and content and conversation and travel and curiosity and kindness. One of those things which I have selfishly gatekept for a few years now and the world need to hear about is this video by a creator called Make Stuff by Johnathon Oscar.

Link: Avatar: The Last Airbender – The Importance Of Mistakes

PS: It doesn’t matter if you have or haven’t watched TLA to view this video. It definitely helps a little (strong recommendation that you watch this whole show). The video is about philosophy and Johnathon is a master and (I feel) also acknowledges that they’re a student of the game. More on them later. If you do want to watch the show, I’d avoid watching the video right now as it has heavy spoilers but do come back to it once you’re done watching.

Link: @johnathonolyon

I’m new to Substack and very new to writing and newer still to writing while breaking the fourth wall. I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time spending my attention consuming on Instagram, have consciously moved away from it so that I could find some space to create and maybe share some of these nuggets with the world. I’m not sure, let’s see where this goes. We’re winging it.

Side note: A huge shout out to Road House Bluez. Ravish, Mayur, Rossi and the entire team from the chefs to the KJs to the staff (go Sarat!). They have all collectively done a phenomenal job ensuring RHB is a space that attracts a collection of regulars who often provoke thought like this and have helped me form bonds that has helped me create and navigate - much like Manipal. But more on RHB later.

Addu.